Why here? Why Now?

Evaluating why we do the things we do is a fascinating and important endeavor. It is something I do frequently. Sometimes, we don’t know why we do things and most often we simply forget.

Life has a tendency to grind us. There was a point where I felt myself getting dull and burnt from the grind. I had a mortgage, two kids under two, my beautiful, sleep deprived wife had turned into a cranky disgruntled roommate, my two and a half hour round trip commute was causing me daily emotional and physical pain.

I was exhausted and disconnected. I felt buried and doomed, as if my life had turned into a prison sentence without parole.

 “He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.” Friedrich Nietzsche.

Speech Language Pathology saved me from the hangover of adolescence and my early 20s. I drudged in the trenches working from the ground up to reinvent myself.

I chose this path because I thought that the meaning it would bring to my life would be the antidote for the suffering caused by my overactive default mode network.

I had worked so hard to get where I was. These were the golden years of parenting and marriage. This is the most magnificent time in human history to be alive. Why did I feel so fried and disenchanted? Why was I suffering so much?

But that was then. This is now. I’ve answered many of those questions and I’ve changed my perspective. I had the equation all wrong.


“Happiness does not lead to gratitude. Gratitude leads to happiness.”

Benedictine monk David Steindl-Rast

(found in A.J. Jacobs’ book, Thanks a Thousand)

*Courtesy of Tim Ferris Five Bullet Friday

This blog is my way of reflecting, adapting and sharing the nuances of my experiences. I work with special needs kids in a K-5 setting with moderate to severe autism, language learning disabilities and intellectual deficits. I work in a title 1 area in New York City.

I draw my inspiration from different places and things. I will be producing content related to my adventures working with this population and the insights I have collected along the way.

 I invite you to join the ride.

“Change doesn’t bring about gratitude. Your life is not going to change and suddenly you will be grateful for it. Gratitude will bring about positive change in your life.”

James Altucher Podcast #410 How I reduce Stress Daily with A.J. Jacobs

Matthew Criscuola